Me, a molecule?

This particular grouping of molecules and atoms, this consciousness that is known as me, this spirit that is, me, that is the essence of me, wants experience with life on planet Earth. Through many times and spaces, trials and errors, I, the spirit of me, have been able to see, feel, hear, taste and smell the love that has produced this exquisite Orb in the vast beauty of the Universe.  And the me, that is I, has learned and learned many things, come through all the elements just to be here in this primitive, yet, expanding society, just to be part of the evolution of the mind, body and spirit, just to know what it is to be in human form.  Though there are very few memories, I know, with a smile, as I look into the ethers, that I, the me that I am, have been on an adventure of such magnitude it is unexplainable, at least in the human form, I have taken.  I, as me, can only marvel at the resilience of the spirit who picks the marvelous, yet, sometimes torturous and grueling University of this life on planet Earth. I, who is me, knows how hard the study of Earth life is and, yet, also how fun and rewarding, how interesting and exciting and then, how crushing it can be. But of the many spirits that I, as me, know are here, there are a significantly less number of those who just cannot make it. The human spirit is stronger than the many, many elements they go through. If they only knew how strong they really are, but some beings, cannot seem to keep up the task at hand. At the same moment, that one being is overcome, a dozen others are coming over or through the trials and errors. And all of this of their own choosing! A board game being played out to see who can take what they themselves dish out to themselves! Rewarding themselves with fun and periods of ease. The only winners, themselves, their spirits intact and functioning with love for “all that is”. I, as me, my spirit intact and functioning with love for “all that is” and all that I am, as me, looks with a smile into the ethers, knowing it’s a magnificent game with myself, a wonderful bicycle ride and I, as myself, is staying aloft and enjoying this cosmic ride!!

"I'm thriving, how are you?"

"I am thriving, how are you?" I think this is a great answer to the question I might be asked, "How are you?" Not "fine" which is a non-expressive word and tells you or me nothing--something to be used only in reference to how I want my coffee beans ground, or my flour or how I want my silk or even how frogs hairs are. It says nothing about how I am doing and is an escape word used by myself if I don't want to tell someone how I really am feeling or how my life really is or how I feel after falling off my bike. It is used to placate others, so they won't be worried about me, or fuss over me, when what I really want to say is, "my elbow is hurt" or "what you said to me hurt", or "it's a really shitty day!" So instead of saying "I'm fine" which can be an acronym for "fucked up, insecure neurotic and emotional", "I'm thriving, thank you, and how are you?"

Standing in Understanding

I am still amazed every day at the beauty in this Universe, on this planet and the fact that I am aware of it and that there are others who are also. I explore this thought, it seems a lot, in wonderment and why I am so awestruck by this incredible beauty! But then I am awestruck by any beauty and so are a lot of people—seems to be a trait inborn in humans? At any point, it is soul food that I eat with my senses—my eyes, my ears, m tongue, my fingertips and hands. It is, to me, as important as food that feeds my physicality. Then there is the difference between what I see as beauty and what others see, but then perhaps it is like everyone stands in a different spot on this Earth and so sees life from another angle or perspective. And if we were to put all the angles and perspectives together, would it form a bigger picture? Can I, with my angles and perspectives, actually expand them in order to encompass all the different outlooks, or inlooks? At any point, I can only say what I see from my position, n’est pas? However, if I move to a different spot to stand in, I will see another degree of the 360 degrees there supposedly are in this world. This is what understanding—complete and true understanding is, human understanding of another’s perspective or angle or degree. The view or scenery they see from where they stand or sit or lie. Not necessarily agreeing with the conclusion drawn from what is seen or understood by the other, but understanding where they are comjng from--261 degrees? We all cannot physically, in our physical senses, stand in exactly the same spot as another, but we can understand simply that they are in a different spot or degree of latitude and longitude. In fact with that said, there must be 6 billion degrees of difference, rather than the paltry 360 degrees “they” say there are! However, in my efforts to bring about world peace, harmony and love, I must remember to stand in understanding with where another is standing and work on seeing what they see and why they have a different understanding than I. The acceptance comes from standing under what they see, knowing I can comingle all my perspectives with those of others and perhaps we can all at once, stand in awe and understanding and truly see the bigger picture together.

A Layer of Snow

A layer of snow has the ground covered in about an 1” or more and it is pretty. However, I will never forget the feet of snow, which covered almost everything, and the stark beauty and magic that it brought to the high mountain town we used to live in.  Ah yes, the snow, the magic and the beauty of it not lost on me, at all. It was beautiful in those high mountains, but also scary if you had to venture out. We did not go out much, in winter, unless we had to, which I kinda did for the elderly couple I took care of and sometimes my little ol’ truck had a hard time getting up and down the hills in town.  After all the driving I did in 5 years, to work at different hospitals, in winter, as well, you’d think I’d feel a certain level of expertise and there is that, but there is also the wonder, “How the hell did I do it?” It is an amazement for the cahones I had. I cast a lot of circles of light around me and my car and all the other drivers and made, “eat that snow, eat that ice…” my winter mantra! Even though with chains, which I became good at attaching to my tires, it was still scary at times and I visualized getting up and down mountain passes, safely. I visualized, used circles of light, chanted Mantra’s and chewed my Osha root, furiously—all to insure my safety and health! And something must’ve worked cuz here I am writing about it! Or could it be my innate drive to survive and thrive? Or all of the above? At any point, driving the rest of the year was a breeze and very beautiful! The scenery never ceased to place me, plop me right down, into a place of awe! I experienced the spirituality in the landscape over and over, again. I felt it and felt my connection, to all of it. And I wrote and wrote about it while I drove and as soon as I landed. The hospital experiences were learnings and the scenery my dessert—such a sublime dessert!  The wildlife was part of the awesome scenery. Like the Wolf pups on McClure Pass, on my way towards Glenwood Springs. They were running across the road and playing. I stopped to watch and another car stopped on the other side to watch, as well. That same pass in winter was six inches deep and no sign of a snow plow anywhere. I had trouble getting my chains on that morning, but a nice motorist stopped and helped. Then, I just toodled along, slowly, snow falling steadily, until I got to the other side. McClure was only about 8000 something feet, but it was harder that morning to get across. But I was committed. Committed to keeping my promise of showing up to work, committed to making the most money I’d ever made, so we could live in the house we were able to buy. Of course, I do have new friends to share the stories with, but mostly they add to my own personal repertoire of experiences, which add to who I am.  Learning, the building blocks, Tinker Toys, or Lincoln Logs of experience. And, most of all, part of my spiritual journey and the sterner stuff, of which I am made. I know there are friends I have, who could not nor would they have, done it. But it was my own personal journey and served to let me know, after those scary, awesome journeys into my soul and spirit, as well as, into the world, I can do a lot more than I think I can! I am made of sterner stuff and I can overcome fears, worries and obstacles that would stop some others. However, it is truly relative, but I am so grateful for my journey and my awesome experiences and learnings—they fill me with joy, to know I did it—and I had the guts, the ovaries to do it. And the bonus, the dessert of the drop-dead gorgeous scenery I was able to see and eat with my eyes, my mind and my heart--Seasonings of bliss and adventure laid at my table…

And if I love another and part of that love is because of commonality, or things in common with said other, then I must also love myself. The things "in common" are part of ones self one sees in another--so, in truth, one is also loving ones self...

I puckered my lips to kiss--
to kiss the warm edges
of my coffee mug,
to taste the bitter sweetness
of the brew within.
I held my mug close to me
like a lover,
as one kiss after another
began warming my insides.
I wanted the kisses to last forever,
and they will--
in my heart and mind,
on the edges of my mug
and the center of my lips,
and out into the ethers.

Untruths

Everything we've learned growing up is now coming out as being untrue and so we are having to rearrange our thinking, our ways of doing things, and we are being forced to either tear down the walls of the boxes we've been living in or continue down the same path and risk losing our freedoms. We have to keep from getting caught up in all the negativity being proffered by the paranoid, who do nothing but attract more negativity into their lives. We have to remember that for every negative news report you hear there are more positive ones that "they" don't want you to hear, because it doesn't create drama and drama is what scares people and keeps them in the grip of those-who-would-be-kings!!